Living in Regret
by laurajane81
Summary: Five years after the breakup of their engagement, Ron Weasley turns up on Hermione Granger's doorstep. The only thing is, she's not a Granger anymore - she's a Malfoy
1. Chapter 1

Ron stood still and stared up at the house, half in awe, and half because he was far too nervous to move. The house stood on the outskirts of a small village - Renningworth, he thought Harry had said. There was a narrow track road behind him, leading to a small gathering of buildings a short walk away - a church, grocery store, post office, and a few houses. The house he was gazing at was extremely large - it was obvious that the residents were quite wealthy. It was the peak of summer, so the right hand side of the stone building was covered with lucious green ivy, weaving around the windows and snaking around the two stone pillars on either side of the oak front door. The house was very beautiful, thought Ron, and homely looking, and immaculately kept. The large garden was in full bloom, red and orange and purple flowers planted all around.

Ron nervously took a step forward, and started up the path which lead through the greenery and up to the front door. As he got nearer, he noticed two Flutterby Bushes on either side of the door, proving to him that this was, indeed, a magical household. He took a deep breath, and, praying to Merlin that _he _wasn't in, knocked three times on the brass knocker.

He waited for about twenty seconds, and was starting to think that _nobody_ was in, when he heard hurried footsteps behind the door.

'I'm so sorry, I'll be two minutes! I can't find my wand - I mean, my keys!'

Ron smiled in spite of himself. It was the first time he'd heard her voice in six years, and she sounded _exactly_ the same. At least he hadn't changed her too much.

Suddenly, catching Ron off guard, the door opened.

Hermione stood there, looking extremely flustered, probably from frantically searching for her wand to unlock the door. When she saw Ron, her jaw dropped, and the look on her face would have been comical if the situation wasn't so serious.

They stood there, staring at one another, until Hermione seemed to gather herself and closed her mouth, a pink blush rising up her cheeks. Ron didn't know what to say. Then -

'Ron.'

His name sounded different on her lips to what it used to. When they had first been together, his name had sounded beautiful on her tongue; it sounded as if she caressed every letter of it. Then, when, Ron saw now, things had started to go downhill, his name had sounded sharp, piercing and quick, as if she wanted the taste out of her mouth as soon as possible. Now, however, there was no feeling behind it; just the pure shock of seeing him skulking on her doorstep.

Ron wasn't sure what he should say to her blatant proclamation, and as he was considering whether to stay silent, speak, or run for it, Hermione spoke again.

'What - what are you here for? How do you know where I live?'

She was on the defensive now; he could thoroughly understand, really. Why would he turn up at her house after years of no contact? She must know from Harry and Ginny that he hadn't kept a girlfriend for more than a month since they split up, and that they had been _very_ few and far between.

'Harry', said Ron, in answer to her second question. 'And er - just ... to talk, I suppose.'

Hermione looked very suspicious - Ron could almost see her brain working, wondering whether to let him into her home. Eventually she stood aside, and Ron stepped over the threshold tentatively. Then, before he could stop it -

'Is Malfoy here?'

Her face darkened and she looked at him shrewdly, while closing the door against the blistering sun.

'_Draco_ is out with Ellie. My daughter,' she added in way of explanation.

Ron felt a sharp pang in his stomach. He had known that Malfoy and Hermione had a daughter - Harry was her godfather, and thought that Ellie was the greatest thing to ever grace the Earth. But hearing it from her personally sort of confirmed it for him. He also remebered that Harry had told him Hermione was expecting her second child - another girl. As he looked - discreetly, he hoped - he noticed she was wearing a furry, cream dressing gown. He could see her baby bump, and thought that he had better say something in regards to it.

'Erm - Harry told me you were expecting another .. erm ... baby. Well, congratulations.'

Her face softened slightly, as she too looked down at her stomach. 'Thank you.'

They were silent for a while. Ron was feeling significantly awkward. 'Erm, nice house,' he stated.

He looked around the hallway he was standing in. It was large and square, with bare, polished floorboards and an enormous cream rug covering most of the floorspace. On the same wall as the door, behind him, the windows were floor length and cast long rectangles of light along the floor. The walls were also a soft cream, and there were various moving photos on the walls. To the left, there was a wide, ornate staircase, and Ron could see a bookcase on the landing upstairs.

'The living room's just through there,' said Hermione, gesturing to a door in the top right hand corner of the cubed hall. 'Erm, just go in, make yourself at home ... I'll just make myself presentable.'

Of course, thought Ron, it must be uncomfortable to be standing in your marital home, in your - admittedly very _short_- dressing gown, with your ex-fiance. Ron's eyes followed Hermione's slender, tanned legs as she climbed the stairs. No, Ron - he mentally shook himself - it wasn't a good idea for him to display his feelings here. She was married, for Merlin's sake, to _Malfoy._

Ron walked across the hall and into the living room. Like the hall, it was cream, with several plush sofas and a dark wood coffee table. Now Ron was in the main living space, he could tell that this was a wizarding home. There was a broomstick propped up against the back wall, next to a set of french doors that lead out the back, and a distinct lack of electrical equipment, apart from a little metal thing with buttons on Ron thought might be called a _phone_. A pot of Floo powder sat on the mantelpeice and there was several bulging bookcases, filled with various books - Ron bent over and looked at some of the titles. There were several books titled _'Enchanted Encounters' by Fifi LaFolle_. Ron smirked; his mother had those books at home. _Hogwarts, A History_ - well, obviously, thought Ron - _'My Life as a Muggle' by Daisy Hookum_, as well as school books from Hogwarts, and many others.

Ron looked at the moving pictures on the walls. There were many pictures of Ellie - she was the spitting image of Malfoy. Blonde hair, pale skin. There was a few of Malfoy and Hermione together, but Ron skimmed over those. There was also, to Ron's immense surpirse, a photo of Malfoy, Hermione, their daughter, and Malfoy's _parents_. It was obviously professionally taken; matching clothes, a dark backdrop, forced smiles.

Hermione was a taking a very long time in his opinion. He hadn't lived with a woman since he and Hermione had split up; he had forgotten just how long they took getting ready. He suddenly felt extremely sorry for Harry when he remembered living back at the Burrow with Ginny.

Ron tentatively sat down on the edge of the sofa. There was a pile of papers on coffee table, mostly colourful scribbles, obviously the work of two-year-old Ellie. Ron picked them up and flicked through them. Ron recognised Hermione's writing - the letters E-L-L-I-E were written by Hermione in big letters, and underneath Ellie had tried to copy them. Ron chuckled. Trust Hermione to try to teach her daughter to write, aged two.

Suddenly, a large, leather book caught Ron's eye as he went to place the pictures back on the coffee table. Ron picked it up carefully - it was extremely old. Faded, peeling gold letters on the front spelled, 'Album'.

Gingerly, Ron opened the album. It's spine creaked ominously. There was a yellowing note stuck in the front page.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Happy 21st Birthday! This was my great great grandmother's; she was the only Malfoy ever to be in Gryffindor. Hope you like it._

_Lots of love, Draco xx_

Ron averted his eyes from the note. Although he was well aware by now that Hermione and Malfoy were married, had a daughter, and were obviously in love, he did not like to think of it any more than he had to.

The album was full of pictures of Ellie, family, Ellie, friends and more Ellie. There were pictures of Christmas, birthdays, and parties, all with Hermione's neat handwriting underneath, stating the date, place and names of people in the photographs.

A picture of their wedding day caught his eye. They were standing in side by side, Malfoy holding Hermione's hand in his own in a pose for the camera. Hermione looked stunning; her dress was ivory, a fitted, beaded bodice and a full skirt, fitting her waist perfectly. She was beaming - Ron had never seen Hermione looking so happy. She was wearing an ancient, sparkling tiara in her softly curled hair, very much like the one Fleur and Ginny had worn at their weddings. Ron remembered Harry and Ginny's wedding day - he had seen Hermione there, with Malfoy, and that was the only time he had seen her in six years. Mind you, they hardly even _looked_ at each other - Ron had stayed as far out of her way as possible. It had only been about a year since Hermione had left him, and she had only been seeing Malfoy a few months. The pain had still been raw for Ron, and he had left the reception soon after he had made his best man's speech. Clearing his head, Ron looked back at the photo. Malfoy was in a Muggle suit, much to Ron's surprise. They were standing infront of a grand staircase in a decorative building; flowers were in bloom, wrapped around the pillars. Ron read Hermione's caption underneath. _Draco and I on our wedding day, Guildhall, London - July 21, 2002._

Ron turned the pages of the album slowly looking at the pictures. He came across one of Harry and Ellie sitting on a swing. The caption read, _Harry and Ellie, Renningworth Park, April 5, 2005._ Only a few months ago, thought Ron. Then, suddenly, turning the page, he caught sight of his own face smiling out of the album. He stared at the picture. It was taken in the garden of the Burrow, according to the caption. It was of Ron, Hermione and Harry, standing smiling, arms around each other. They all looked so happy. In the background, Ron could see other members of his family bustling about; Fleur with a then-newborn Victoire, jostling her about, trying to get her to sleep; his Mum, watering the flowers; Ginny, trying to pull a resistant gnome out of the vegetable patch. He sighed. He had been so happy then ... he had thought his life was mapped out infront of him, a simple path he had to walk down. He had never imagined that the path would become so overgrown and difficult to maneouvre.

He remembered back to the day when Hermione broke the news, informed him that she was leaving him, that she didn't love him anymore.

_Ron stared at her, gobsmacked. She didn't love him anymore? Well ... why?_

_'Why - what ... what have I done? Is it me? Have I -' he stuttered, to overcome to think straight._

_'No! No, Ron, it isn't you, you haven't done anything, I just ... feel differently about you now. You're not what I need' There were tears running down Hermione's cheeks, but she sounded firm, sure; Ron knew then that there would be no going back._

_Ron's world was spinning; he hadn't thought there was anything wrong with their relationship. He wasn't what she needed - but he needed her, didn't that mean anything? What was he going to do without her, he loved her, more than anything in the world! It seemed, to Ron, like his whole life had been ripped out from underneath his feet and torn into shreds right in front of his eyes, and he was falling, falling down a black hole, into a dark, bottomless abyss._

_'No - please, Hermione, please no - I can change! I can stay at home more - we can go on holiday! Please -' Ron was babbling, trying to make it better, wishing and wishing that he would wake up and find that Hermione was lying next to him, warm and comforting, and, most importantly, THERE -_

_'Ron!' Hermione's voice broke through his ramblings, and he fell silent, gazing at her. 'Please ... don't make this any harder than it already is. I love you, I do, but ... not in the way I should. I didn't realise before, I thought I could make myself love you, but I can't. I'm sorry, Ron.'_

_Hermione wasn't crying any more. She looked teary, and sad, but she stood firm on her feet. Ron felt like he was being spun round in circles very fast, he couldn't make sense of what she was saying -_

_'I - what? How ... how long have you felt like this?'_

_Ron felt a strange satisfaction at the guilt that graced Hermione's face. 'A - a month or so, maybe two.' Ron's jaw dropped in horror. 'Oh, please, Ron - don't look like that! I thought we were just having an off spell, I thought it would sort itself out!'_

_'Thought WHAT would sort itself out?' Ron finally burst out. 'There isn't anything wrong with our relationship!' At least, not in his eyes._

_'Oh, Ron! I've only just turned twenty, and you're still nineteen - and we act like fifty year olds!'_

_Ron racked his brains, trying to figure out exactly when he had acted like a fifty year old._

_'Look at Harry and Ginny! They go out for dinner, away for weekends, they're so affectionate towards each other. And - look at us. There's no fire in our relationship, Ron - we go to work, come back, go to bed. We never do couple things. I'm still young, this is not what I want, this is not what a twenty year old's life should be like.'_

_She stopped for breath, and looked at him. Her eyes were apologetic. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, delicate and pleading._

_'And, Ron - this is not what you're life should be like, either. You deserve to have fun, to love somebody who will love you back.'_

_Ron simply stared at her. There were tears building in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall; not until she had gone._

_'I'll - I'll pack an overnight bag, then I'll come for the rest of my stuff tomorrow,' said Hermione whispered, then turned and headed off towards the master bedroom. Ron was left, standing in the middle of what had been their living room, staring after her._


	2. Chapter 2

_Ron simply stared at her. There were tears building in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall; not until she had gone._

_ 'I'll - I'll pack an overnight bag, then I'll come for the rest of my stuff tomorrow,' said Hermione whispered, then turned and headed off towards the master bedroom. Ron was left, standing in the middle of what had been their living room, staring after her._

Hermione had left the house ten minutes after that. Later, sitting alone in what should have been _their_ bedroom, Ron had spotted a glimmer on the dresser. He had picked up the diamond ring, turning it over in his hand, and read the note it had been resting on; _Save it for someone who deserves it_.

Ron shook himself out of his memories, laying the leather photo album back on the coffee table. It was better, he knew, that Hermione had left when she did. Now he had hindsight, he saw that their relationship had been slowly but surely deteriorating. He thought back to the fights they had had almost daily - at the time, Ron had thought they were bickering, like they always had. He saw now, however, that they had definitely_ not_ been bickering.

He heard a sound near the door and his head darted up. Hermione had returned, fully dressed now; she was wearing a thin white shirt and efficient linen pants, her bump showing more noticeably now that she was out of her dressing gown. Her hair was restrained in a long ponytail, locks of hair curling around her ears. Ron almost smiled; she looked exactly the same always had, and he felt thankful that Malfoy hadn't changed her _too_ much.

"Why did you come here today, Ron?" Hermione's voice was expressionless.

There was an awkward silence. Ron had no idea what he should say. Why had he come here? If he was honest, he had no idea; he just knew that he really needed to get some closure and move on with his life. His mother was pestering him incessantly about marriage and settling down. In truth, he wanted that, he really did, he just ... had to get over Hermione first. She looked at him expectantly.

"I just ... thought ... maybe if I saw you, it would ... maybe ..."

He hated to acknowledge the fact, but a part of Ron had hoped that Hermione would have changed, into some sort of monstrous Malfoy clone - into someone narcissistic, conceited, selfish. Then he could hate her, tell himself that he was better off without her, and he would be right.

But she hadn't. She was just Hermione. She wasn't glamourous, or anything he thought she would be. And this didn't help.

"Ron ...", Hermione spoke softly, "Ron ... I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry you still feel it today, I - I didn't _want _to hurt you. You have to understand that. You deserved someone who would return your feelings, who would appreciate -"

Her breath hitched in her throat, and she stopped. She was close to tears, he could tell. Ron felt another painful surge of familiarity; Hermione had always cried easily.

"If you hate me, I understand," she whispered.

"Oh, Hermione," said Ron, shocked, "I could never _hate_ you, don't be - why would ... Hermione, I don't hate you, I promise."

Tears flowed freely down Hermione's cheeks, and she wiped them away furiously. She looked up and gave him a watery smile. "I don't hate you either. You know that, don't you?"

Ron nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Emotional women were not his speciality.

"I thought - I thought you would - always hate me and -" Hermione was sobbing now, her shoulders heaving, and Ron thought that perhaps her pregnancy had a contributing factor in this emotianal onslaught.

"Hey, don't cry," Ron said uncertainly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. What should he do? Surely standing here like an idiot while she sobbed her heart out wasn't the correct thing to do. But - should he comfort her? _Hug_ her? Was that appropriate, considering their present conversation? But Ron looked at Hermione, and saw her tears streaming, and her face crumpled up, and he couldn't help himself.

He edged forwards tentatively, not wanting to startle her, and enveloped her small shoulders nervously. He gave her a delicate squeeze that he hoped was comforting, and pulled away, not wanting to push his luck. She smiled that small, watery smile again.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

Ron decided that he should say something, as he hadn't given any reason as to why he was currently standing in the middle of her living room, unannounced, after five years of separation.

"Erm ..."

Ron rubbed his neck again.

"I came here today 'cause I wanted ... well, I'm not sure what I wanted. All I know that I've been pining over you for the last five years and, well ... it's gotta stop, hasn't it? I want to find someone and settle down with them, and ... I can't do that if I'm still miserable over you. I just thought this would be a sort of ... closure, maybe."

Ron shuffled his feet. He wasn't sure what Hermione thought of his little speech, because he was staring to intently at the floor beneath his feet.

"Ron."

Ron looked at her, and she stepped closer to him.

"I know what it must have taken for you to say that to me. And I just want to say that ... I_ want_ you to move on, and be happy, and ... well. I don't want to hold you back from doing that."

He looked at her earnest expression, and vowed that he would move on, because he _wanted_ to move on.

Ron realised that he had been right. Closure was what he needed, and seeing Hermione happy gave him the courage to just go for it. He smiled then, realising that his life didn't have to be one long, endless depression.

"Thanks, Hermione."

Hermione smiled and grasped his hand before dropping it gently.

"Your welcome, Ron."

Ron smiled, feeling better than he had in a long while.

"Well, I -"

He fell silent. Was it just him, or was that a car door slamming? Was that an exciteable little girl's voice trilling breathlessly?

Was it just him, or was that the sound of footsteps ascending up the garden path?

Hermione saw his wide eyes and shrugged.

"Don't worry, it'll just be Draco."

Ron's eyes positively popped; _just Draco_? Don't worry? He wasn't scared of Malfoy, of course he wasn't; but he didn't much fancy being found in his living room, after seven school years of hatred.

The front door opened, and an exciteable voice reached his ears.

" ... and, Daddy, did you see the bears? There was a gween one! And gween's my _favourite_! The blue one was pwetty too, but I liked the gween one - did you see the bears, Daddy? They were ..."

"Yes, I saw the bears," came Malfoy's voice tiredly over the top of his daughter's endless stream. She carried on nattering away to herself while she ran into the living room and over to her mother. Hermione bent down and heaved her onto her hip, and Ellie continued her monologue.

"Mummy! Me and Daddy saw the bears! There was a _gween one_!"

"Ooh, was there, petal?"

"Yes! It was the same colour as my bear, McGonagall ..."

Ron snorted. _McGonagall_? Really? The girl had a bear called McGonagall? Honestly, he thought, only Hermione's daughter could have a bear called _McGonagall_ ...

Ellie, hearing his snort, turned her head and stared at him.

Now that he was seeing her up close, he realised she wasn't as much like Malfoy as he had thought. Sure, she had white blonde hair, but it was thick and curly, and her wide eyes were perfect replicas of her mother's. There was an innocence about her which shocked him, because in his opinion, _no one_ who had an alliance with Malfoy was innocent.

"Mummy, who's that stwange man?"

Strange? Him?

Presumably at the sound of a 'strange man' being in his house, suddenly, Draco Malfoy was standing in the doorway.

Malfoy looked mostly the same, thought Ron, apart from the fact that his fair was a bit longer and he wasn't as skinny as he was in school. There was nothing but utter shock registered on his face as they glared at one another viciously. Then, Malfoy seemed to gather himself, and turned to stare at Hermione instead.

"Hermione."

"Yes, Draco?" replied Hermione, brushing a tangle out of Ellie's hair.

"_What_ is _he _doing here?"

"Ron just nipped over for a chat Draco, there's no need to get your knickers in a twist!"

Malfoy stared at Hermione incoherantly.

"A - a _chat_? _Nipped over_? You haven't spoken in years, how - what -?"

"Mummy, who is he?" Malfoy was interrupted by his daughter, who was gazing at Ron with interest.

"That's Ron Weasley, sweetheart, he was a friend of Mummy's at school."

"Why doesn't Daddy like him?"

Hermione glared at Draco in annoyance. "Daddy _does_ like -"

But the little girl was oblivious, off on another rant. She obviously took after Hermione.

"Why doesn't he like him? His hair's like the wed bear at the fair, isn't it, Daddy?"

Malfoy smirked that annoying smirk he obviously hadn't lost since school. "Yes, he looks just like the red bear at the fair."

Hermione rolled her eyes at her husband's immaturity. "Look, Draco, Ron and I were just having a talk about _things_ -"

"Yes, I can see that, Hermione," snapped Draco, and Ron realised that Malfoy had spotted the tear trackes that were still etched down Hermione's cheeks. He advanced on Ron. "You know, she shouldn't be getting herself upset in her condition, she doesn't need someone like _you -"_

Hermione wiped the tears off her face quickly, and put a soothing arm on Malfoy's arm. "Draco, for Merlin's sake, I'm pregnant, not ill! Now can we all just try and get along nicely, _please_ ..."

Ron, seeing that this was most certainly _not_ going to happen, butted in, thinking that now Malfoy was here, things were going to get nasty. "I was just leaving anyway ..."

"Yes, I think you were!"

Hermione's cry of, "_Draco_!" was lost under Ron's accusation. "Hey, don't you take that tone with me, _Malfoy_!"

"Look, look, _look_," said Hermione, rolling Ellie to her other hip and stepping between the feuding men. "Draco, please, keep yourself in control. Ron, I think you'd better leave now; I'll owl you, okay?"

Neither man responded. They were frozen, glaring maliciously at eachother. Ellie analysed their expressions with interest..

"Come on, Ron, I'll see you out," said Hermione, passing Ellie to Malfoy. Malfoy took her, still glaring at Ron.

Once they were out the front door, Hermione turned to Ron.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. He shouldn't be so rude. But you shouldn't encourage him, either!"

She folded her arms disapprovingly, and the stance was so endearingly familiar that Ron almost laughed.

"Thanks, Hermione," he said instead, and Hermione's expression softened.

"It's fine, really." She was pensive for a moment. "Well, I'll be in touch, and we can get some coffee or something, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Right then," she replied, stepping back inside the house. She smiled. "Bye, Ron," she said.

"Yeah, bye," he replied.

Ron thought as he retraced his steps down the garden path and out onto the narrow track road. It was odd seeing Malfoy and Hermione together, when he had been so used to them fighting and hurling insults at eachother in their Hogwarts days. But, in a way, he was glad she had found contentment, and it was obvious that Malfoy made her happy.

Ron smiled to himself as he trekked the stony cobbles. He was pleased he had visited; he felt that it had done a lot for him -he felt now, surprisingly, that maybe he _could_ have another chance at love, and he _wasn't_ doomed to a life of solitary sadness. That was one thing Hermione had always been good at; making you feel better.

Maybe there was a life for him, other than this. The thought made him smile. A stone farmhouse, a wife smiling by the stove, children running around the kitchen ...

He shook his head, laughing softly. Now now, Ron, no need to get ahead of yourself.

Only time will tell.

_A/N - I hope everyone like this story. I knew from the beginning it was going to be a short story, so this is the end product. However, I may add an epilogue, showing Ron perhaps, but I'm not sure, so don't expect anything soon! I tried to jeep the characters as close to canon as possible, I hope that came across. Please take a look at my author's page and read my other work, because I feel the writing in my other stories is better than in this - I'm not too good at dialogue and such. Everything belongs to JK Rowling, apart from Ellie, who was my creation. Thank you for reading, and please review! Thank you :) x_


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